Monday, January 11, 2010

on brothers and sisters

I am indeed very lucky. My parents have four kids. So I have three siblings. I am the eldest of two sisters and a brother. One of my sister got married to a German guy, so she had to move out of the country to live in Germany. It has been almost five years (I think) since she left Indonesia. She was here two years ago and she was just about to go back to Germany after she visited us since last November.

It was really great to have everyone around, I could really see that in my father's and mother's eye. I felt the same way too. Even more so when we see our children played together, having a really good time. It was a really wonderful sight knowing that they barely knew each other. Having a family, closed ones, people that you really love together makes you feel really blessed. Especially since each one of us is doing OK, seemed content and happy with the lives they are living. At those moments, you can really appreciate and feel so grateful of what dad and mom has given us... And to them hopefully seeing that each one of us, their children and grand children are doing great so far, may make them feel somehow rewarded.

My sister and her family is going away again the day after tomorrow. And I feel so sad realising that it will be a long time before we can see each other again. Even though when she was here, we didn't see each other that much anyway. But it feels kinda strange to feel that we are much closer when we are far away. Perhaps being close to each other tend to make us take it for granted. Or maybe, being older (not old) we grow something that we didn't have before.

My other sister, on the other hand, I see her every day of the week. We live in the same city, worked at the same place. I can see her and my two nephews every day, which is great. My little brother, I don't see him and his family that often, but still I feel somehow really lucky, really glad to have him as a brother.

Anyway, so what do we think of brothers and sisters. Things that we too often take for granted. It's like it's just there everyday as long as we live, and sometimes we they are the ones that we fight and have arguments with. But then time goes on, and when got older and you have a family of you own, then you suddenly realize that they made an important part of your life. In time they will be the only family you have left. When you are alone, you face problems, and need someone to talk to, they may be the people closest to you that will really support and help you without expecting anything in return, simply because they are your family.

In time that people are thinking about having only one child in your family for any sorts of reasons, there are simply many things that simply be gone. When you are a single child, and your parents are gone, then you are simply alone. There will be noone left in your family circle. You may have friends, but they are just not the same. Down the line, the term uncle and auntie will be gone too... And more importantly, you lost the feeling that there will be people that are like you, born from the love of your father and mother. That is I think something that you simply cannot get any other way... I think brothers and sisters are gifts from our parents, and in the same way it is a gift that we give to our child. And one of the most wonderful gift there is.

I now have a family of four. I have a daughter and a son. And when I think about it time and time again, I am hoping that someday my children could and would appreciate what it means of having a brother or a sister. It is a gift to them from us their parents.

When more couples are having only a single child in the family, then how do we define the term family, when in time there will only a single family member left... The term family will then lost its meaning as well... and I can only imagine how lonely it could be...

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